Haitian Parents Can Benefit From Mentoring Programs

Yolette Ibokette, educator and commentary writer (Photo: Boston Haitian Reporter)

The following is an excerpt from a commentary in the Boston Haitian Reporter.

Some people say you don't need a license to parent. That may be, but many parents at least need a mentor.

Some states have created parent-mentoring programs. These are community-based initiatives that provide free training and information to parents.

While some programs focus on infants and toddlers, others assist parents with special-needs children. Some initiatives help parents with the challenges of raising teenagers.

In addition to the fact that some of our child-rearing practices are culturally different from those of this country, Haitian parents living in the United States sometimes face more serious parenting issues than in Haiti.

Gangs, drugs, easy availability of firearms constantly challenge parents who are already stressed by their everyday realities.

In Haiti, parents have extended family members, relatives, and neighbors to help them raise their kids. In this country, parents sometimes feel isolated and alone.

Some Haitian parents with special-needs kids or newborns deal with unique issues and may need support.

Parent-mentoring programs' goals are to support parents' ability to provide sensitive and nurturing care for their children. They also aim to strengthen families by supporting parents who are overwhelmed by the pressures of raising children.

Through these programs, parents can improve their parenting skills or learn alternative parenting techniques that nurture children's self-esteem, improve children's self-confidence and enhance their children's sense of security and overall well-being.

Parent mentors are open-minded, trained individuals who understand the unique challenges of being a parent. They are also supported and supervised on an ongoing basis by their training coordinators.

Most importantly, parent mentors provide encouragement and share their experiences and knowledge with families to empower them to become a healthier functioning family.

They model behaviors and interactions, demonstrate techniques and make suggestions. They won't engage in gossip about children and families. Mentors will also maintain confidentiality about issues and information about kids and families.

Mentors work with parents for 2-5 hours a week to help them reach their parenting goals. Kids are taught how to relate to their parents and siblings.

To receive assistance, parents have to want to strengthen their families and be committed to changing negative behaviors. With their mentors, these parents set up goals and develop an action plan.

Mentors then teach parents appropriate childcare and parenting strategies. They also observe parents in their interactions with their kids to offer suggestions and guidance. Mentors take time to get to know the parent and family.

Trust is built on clear expectations about how the parent and mentor will work together and what each hopes to accomplish during mentoring sessions. Mentors do not judge parents or their actions. They don't demand that you raise your kids "their" way.

Instead, they help parents meet their own parenting goals and guide them to provide the best care for their children.

If Haitian parents understand the benefits of change, they will work with their mentors despite anxieties and cultural traditions.

Further, relatives, neighbors and co-workers can be an informal network to support parents.

Let us not wait for a parent to lose a child to gun violence or gangs before reaching out. If you know a parent who's struggling with an infant, adolescent or teen, lend a hand or offer some guidance now.

Source: BostonHaitian.com

SEE ALSO:

"TV Project Targets Haitian Health and Identity," March 16, 2008,

"Haitian International Women's Day," March 2, 2008

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